his broken words
arise in waves like blackbirds
flocking over hedgerows
denying light its wings
he speaks freedom
like a tripwire
eyes turn skyward
as screeching syllables see
life’s moments explode
scattering black feathers
everywhere
a veritable night
Brenda Warren 2014
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A lot of power, action in this–very well done.
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I was going to say the same as Laurie! Awesome.
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Flying feathers…part of life, we know, but nevertheless startling and and sometimes dangerous…good to have a warning at least. Great wordle!
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Love the visual of black feathers falling like night. Dark and beautiful.
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Brenda, you have used some excellent phrasing in this piece. Nice work, my friend.
Pamela ox
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Electric! I have had some red-wing black birds visit my bird feeder. I can only wonder if I shall ever find one of their red feathers.
I wonder though if birds have a sixth sense to stay away from exposed lines? 🙂
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Quite frightening to see feathers strewn about. This can happen when birds shed their feathers as a defense mechanism apparently. great write Brenda!
Hank
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Made me shiver, Brenda.
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A tragic life – the title so apposite.
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I lived with someone who could make me feel exactly what you have written. Am so glad that is another lifetime away from me now. Beautifully written and executed,
Elizabeth
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Your approach is unique and I love the cyclical appearance of the blackbird and feathers in your opening and closing stanzas…excellent wordle, Brenda!
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I suppose the best way to read this is to absorb the title “Trapped” the the words are then much more relevant and scary. How can I get out of here? Excellent.
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Quite the painting you’ve rendered, Brenda. Tailor-made words for this!
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Explosive lines! Well penned!
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And what an explosion it is! Delightful (although somewhat chilling.)
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great metaphor . . . explosive and dark.
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When those moment of darkness hits us.. when even words are failing (or flailing).. a harsh moment, a dark night indeed.
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The first stanza is beautiful. I can so see it. Indeed you describe a veritable night for those who write. Love your poem.
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This hit the pit of my stomach as I read the loss of writing, the loss of poetry, into it… Extremely powerful and very scary! Beautiful!
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I want to gather those black feathers!
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The words fit into your piece perfectly!!
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I don’t like those words he uses as a trip wire..i think if we look in our shadows we would know such a creature..you so finely capture the sense of being trapped..
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I love this, Brenda… especially the second stanza.
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