My customers love her honey and so…

I keep the wall between us as we go.
She places jars of honey in a row,
conversing about buds and melting snow.
Her eyes contain no kindness that I see;
they never even rise to look at me.
Yet here she is, discussing pleasantries;
like spring, and the arrival of her bees.
My wall builds up with buzzing irony.

Brenda Warren 2013

2

Process Notes:
Miz Quickly’s prompt today offered six lines of iambic pentameter as possible starting points. Rephrase it, add to it, respond to it. Write six more iambic lines to complete your beginning. Er….something like that.  Click on the pic to go to Quickly’s place.

I chose the line “We keep the wall between us as we go…” for my starting point. Miz Quickly tells us that line comes from Robert Frost’s “The Mending Wall.” Thanks to Quickly & Frost for the inspiration.

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17 thoughts on “My customers love her honey and so…

  1. I love the way this flows with a feeling of effortlessness. Please tell me it wasn’t as easy to write as it sounds. I do not find iambic pentameter easy at all — and you even made it all rhyme. I am very impressed.

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  2. Let the Queen reign! I like this.

    After the first verse…it just kept going. I’m still not sure if it is da-dum-ing in the right spots.
    But I had fun. And that is the ‘Buzz’

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    • Thanks Pamela. I did go into my classroom this morning, to ready myself for the next three days. I went through some student work, and gave them suggestions for this first stage of their writing process. They have work to do. It will be a productive day, helping them solidify their ideas and forcing them to ELABORATE! Their work is covered with my sticky notes. 🙂
      And yes, you are right, six days is not enough.

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  3. Well done! Spring-y and sprite-ly! I was a coward and did not even try this prompt. Maybe if I had more time. I have never done well with forms; my attempts seem contrived and stuffy. BUT NOT YOURS!
    Find me here:
    http://herwordsbloomed.blogspot.com/2013/04/napowrimo-2-memories-of-evening.html
    PS – I do not have a job to go to, but I have a pregnant (33 weeks) daughter who has a terrible cold. I am helping her take care of my 3 year old granddaughter, who has croup. Heading to their house now.

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