I keep the wall between us as we go.
She places jars of honey in a row,
conversing about buds and melting snow.
Her eyes contain no kindness that I see;
they never even rise to look at me.
Yet here she is, discussing pleasantries;
like spring, and the arrival of her bees.
My wall builds up with buzzing irony.
Brenda Warren 2013
Miz Quickly’s prompt today offered six lines of iambic pentameter as possible starting points. Rephrase it, add to it, respond to it. Write six more iambic lines to complete your beginning. Er….something like that. Click on the pic to go to Quickly’s place.
I chose the line “We keep the wall between us as we go…” for my starting point. Miz Quickly tells us that line comes from Robert Frost’s “The Mending Wall.” Thanks to Quickly & Frost for the inspiration.
I love the way this flows with a feeling of effortlessness. Please tell me it wasn’t as easy to write as it sounds. I do not find iambic pentameter easy at all — and you even made it all rhyme. I am very impressed.
Thank you Annette. It was a fun prompt to chase.
Let the Queen reign! I like this.
After the first verse…it just kept going. I’m still not sure if it is da-dum-ing in the right spots.
But I had fun. And that is the ‘Buzz’
I think all of it but the title are in good form…. Thanks for stopping to share your thoughts.
I attempt a few Limericks from time to time but I can’t hear the ta-dum…in my head. 🙂
Adorable poem, but I still find iambic pentameter just doesn’t sit with me comfortably.
That’s true for so many. It can get me going…and it makes me happy that you liked this piece. Thanks for stopping and sharing your thoughts.
Brenda, this is lovely, so unlike where I went. You have to go back to school tomorrow? Six days doesn’t seem quite long enough, does it?
Thanks Pamela. I did go into my classroom this morning, to ready myself for the next three days. I went through some student work, and gave them suggestions for this first stage of their writing process. They have work to do. It will be a productive day, helping them solidify their ideas and forcing them to ELABORATE! Their work is covered with my sticky notes. 🙂
And yes, you are right, six days is not enough.
Methinks I still don’t like da-dum. But I certainly like your verses. I didn’t go near the Robert Frost line, so envy you your bravery and the flow of you accomplishment. Clear portrait, and somehow very familiar, like echoes of my own thoughts about a certain individual.
Thanks Elizabeth. Something about the da-dum can get me writing. Two days in….we’re doing it!
‘buzzing irony’… I know this person 🙂
hehehe me too.
Well done! Spring-y and sprite-ly! I was a coward and did not even try this prompt. Maybe if I had more time. I have never done well with forms; my attempts seem contrived and stuffy. BUT NOT YOURS!
Find me here:
PS – I do not have a job to go to, but I have a pregnant (33 weeks) daughter who has a terrible cold. I am helping her take care of my 3 year old granddaughter, who has croup. Heading to their house now.
Holy buckets, you are busy. Life does keep throwing things at us, eh? And hooray for grandmothers!
Thanks for stopping to read, I’m glad we are in this together.
oh, we picked the same line!
I love where yours went, the honey and the rhyme.
Thanks Angie, it was fun to construct. Your pantoum is a strong write. Love this rhythmic thing. Methinks Miz Quickly is onto something.