When everything holy scurries away in fear,
even water won’t bring tenderness.
The low spots roil.
Breathing flaps its ambivalence
in prayers filtering incense
until it dazes the low spots empty,
leaving only the Holy
no you, me, or Thy.
Brenda Warren 2012
Adventures in Poetry and Writing
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Brenda, one thought – if something is truly holy, what can make it scurry in fear? Something for me to ponder. Your final line was excellent. Satisfying poem, especially when read aloud. “The low spots roil…” and indeed, they do. Peace, Amy
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Similarly, my thoughts were on breathing. Wonderful write Brenda. Thanks again for the words. xo teri
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I’m inspired by the compactness of your pieces, and I’m aiming to do the same this week. A wonderful piece.
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Sorry – forgot to add http://miskmask.wordpress.com/2012/10/01/empty-clouds/
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Oh this is wonderful – so spare and evocative … very cool brenda. Very.
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I’m slow in getting around to read these past couple weeks…sorry ’bout that!
I love the title when paired with that opening line — wow.
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Me too, Paula. Don’t sweat it. Life gets incredibly busy…. Thanks for stopping by, I do appreciate your comments. 🙂
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Beautiful!
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Love the conciseness of this, Brenda. And the last line is awesome.
Pamela
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Interesting. Arresting. Thought provoking.
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I love this:
“When everything holy scurries away in fear,
even water won’t bring tenderness.”
And this:
“Breathing flaps its ambivalence”
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Holy balance; defined by what or whom? The bright white healing light pushing out the darkness of doubt.
I teetered balance with a fanciful scale:
http://julesgemsandstuff.blogspot.com/2012/09/sunday-whirl-76-feeding-souls.html
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Brenda, I love those last two lines. And I sense we filter out not just the incense, but the holy and the tenderness too. A powerful poem.
Richard
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Yes, I like it!
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Interesting to me that only the Holy remains. No me, you, or Thy. Mysterious….as is the HOLY. So I wonder what there indeed WAS. In other words, I wonder what are the components of ‘holy.’
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What would make everything that is holy scurry away in fear? Perhaps only something that is truly Holy. Thank you so much for these words Brenda and the energy they have loosed among us.
Elizabeth
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Oh, my. This line haunts me, as I am part mermaid: “even water won’t bring tenderness.”
Excellent.
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I am grabbed by the title. The word is powerful standing alone like that.
I spent several minutes with your black bird. I enjoy looking at him, while I think :-).
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“Breathing flaps its ambivalence in prayers filtering incense until it dazes the low spots empty,” WOW! That’s absolutely wonderful, Brenda! Fantastic use of the words!
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I love this, Brenda. Prayer does daze those low spots!
http://lkkolp.wordpress.com/2012/09/29/high-school-football/
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A scary thought isn’t it. I think the economic use of words makes this all the more effective in the power of its message.
Great wordle Brenda 🙂
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Some wonderful lines and images in this. Especially liked everything holy scurries away and breathing flaps its ambivalence. Very tight.
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How economical you are with the words. Brilliant!
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Oooooh this is a really really good one – tight and intense -grabbed me hard! 🙂
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Excellent poem!
ambivalence
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