Process Notes
Generally, I save process notes until the end of a piece. However, this piece has a rather graphic / brutal ending. The first piece came easily, and left me wanting to explore the character more fully, so I wrote the second piece. After that, I challenged myself to take on the person who had attacked the woman in taffeta. I used the words to guide each of the pieces. In all of them, the word sister was the hardest for me to incorporate. The piece is not autobiograpical, but was inspired by a dozen words offered up at The Sunday Whirl. A friend’s voice said, “Don’t censor yourself,” so here is a trilogy of perspective.
*
“Are you okay?”
Like an ashen story,
whispering its scattered urges,
she lifts her blackened eyes
lined with kohl and scalded,
and whimpers her reply,
“I have no knack for charm
my instincts are in shards.”
She sighs and drops her head
into the black pool of taffeta
around her ravaged form,
a faltering white flower
crushed
against the sisterhood of elegance.
*
The Taffeta’d Lady
ashen instincts ferret pathways through the broken shards of my soul
my charms failed me if ever they existed at all
and every urge I ever have again,
will be suspect
faith in my sensibilities crushed
Last night, my knack for blackness
actualized its existence
and now this lady,
this lady asks me
“are you okay?”
(may my sisters’ whisperings scatter my story in the wind)
*
The Perp
whispering voices offer a litany of ashen curses
as scattered urges piss him off and instinct forces the hunt
leaving scalded piles of spiders in his wake
searching for black dresses
searching for his sister
memory pushes shards of steel
through his heart
driving his pursuit
fueling his story
he charms a bitch that thinks she’s got it all
black taffeta
hair mirroring the tangled mass
he keeps in a box
his sister’s hair
this bitch has it coming
he has a knack for leaving them crumpled
and loves to hear them cry
crushed, spent,
deflowered like the little whores they are
Brenda Warren 2012
undercaws 
Wow, Brenda! Powerful is not a strong enough word.
LikeLike
Well done, Brenda. I have often heard that voice in my head (of a friend) telling me not to censor myself…yet there are times I know I do. This is a great example of why I shouldn’t. ~Paula
LikeLike
Powerful writing here. Glad you didn’t censor yourself. Thanks for the warning up front. I think my favorite lines are the last three of the first poem/part – beautiful imagery there.
LikeLike
Really good writing Brenda!
What a great use of the wordle words to tell such a powerful story.
My favourite lines (out of so many good ones)…
“Last night, my knack for blackness
actualized its existence”
LikeLike
These words broke out into a magnificent and dark trilogy… The sadness lies in knowing there are lives living such treachery.
LikeLike
Incredible ! the last one is the most powerful one. First and second one are very good too. I think second voice is coming from the guy’s head.
LikeLike
Well done. I like how each led to the next. And the last was the best.
LikeLike
Wow! Not one, but three wordles. Well done!
LikeLike
Absolutely brilliant writing, Brenda! Your use of the words is spectacular! I am in awe! Your trilogy using three very distinct voices is really first-rate.
LikeLike
Now this is one way to deal with that urge to tell too much in a poem. Clever you!
(don’t you love it when they just keep coming?)
LikeLike
Brenda, this is brilliant! How you managed these three different perspectives is masterly as Viv said.
LikeLike
So sad, for it’s reality. Deeply moving, and filled with dreadful images of hate and women suffering from a man’s anger. Wow.
Wonderful writing Brenda!
LikeLike
Wow- this is amazing, Brenda… all so very different yet connected.
http://lkharris-kolp.blogspot.com/2012/01/snippets-of-truth.html
LikeLike
I agree with Viv…. these are sheer brilliance – each stands alone as tragically triumphant in content and style – together … simply what I like to call a stand on the chair and applaud… Bravo!
LikeLike
Impressive writing, Brenda. Each one was complete in itself, but all three together give a complete picture of the situation. There are so many wonderful lines I could quote. Your poetry has so many rich images! I am glad you listened to your friend and did not censor yourself. Your uncensored poetry is a gift to you AND your readers.
LikeLike
I felt the three perspectives are interesting, the first a victim’s, the second is ambiguous but I tend to think it’s a self-ironic voice, the last hateful.
LikeLike
To do one poem from a wordle is hard enough. To do three is masterly. And to have linked them through contrasting perspectives is an absolute triumph!
LikeLike