the fluttering

Forgetting is forgotten
against the breathing loss
of everything we once were,
long ago, before you thatched
your soul’s hearth with psychobabble
and removed me from the fray.

When I wouldn’t rebuild myself
and open gates to uncover
the roles I played each day,
formed and fostered
from the inception
of me,
you said goodbye.

Thousands of people were following
“Life Training.”
A room full of them bobbled their heads
with smiles that welcomed me
to the fold.
My spirit felt groped.

In that room, where you began
to rebuild your life—
my heart began to break
knowing I could not join in the training,
knowing I wanted to be who I was, as I was,
without a bobbling head.

And so, bubbling with sorrow we split the sheets.

Today, flashes of who we were send
stones fluttering up my sternum
reminding me that love never dies;
transmuted it remains, unrealized
from that day when ideas clashed
and the earth tilted on its axis
with the enormity
of our loss.

Brenda Warren 2012

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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33 thoughts on “the fluttering

  1. ‘reminding me that love never dies;
    transmuted it remains, unrealized
    from that day when ideas clashed
    and the earth tilted on its axis
    with the enormity
    of our loss’- luvvv these lines!

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  2. Very gripping poem. You had me from the first stanza. ‘…before you thatched
    your soul’s hearth with psychobabble and removed me from the fray.’ absolutely fantastic use of thatched.

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  3. This is beautiful even if heartbreaking, flows beautifully, with wordle words artfully placed and some (very) memorable lines:

    Forgetting is forgotten

    My spirit felt groped. and

    flashes of who we were send
    stones fluttering up my sternum

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  4. This poem sets me imagining what happened – the true tragedy, and pain of the need to spilit ways over the way we want to live and believe. Love does not die but is transmuted. This fits what I believer too.

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  5. Brenda, your poem evoked thoughts of my only extended romantic relationship. We weren’t good for each other in the long run, but because I’ve been single since it ended, the feelings still rise from time to time even after 25 years. Love not replaced is not easily displaced.

    I like the contrasts in this piece – “stones fluttering up my sternum” really grabbed me.

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  6. Boy oh boy, Brenda. This is wonderful in all its pain. I love the part about splitting the sheets. There is such deep meaning it that. I very visual piece, I felt like I was watching the scene unfold.
    However, as for that word “thatched”, argh! Almost impossible for me to use. I had to stop writing mine last night, I was getting angry with the word itself. I love your use of it here.

    Pamela

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  7. “My spirit felt groped.”

    This line was like a slap in the face, a kick in the shins–so powerful! It certainly woke me up!

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  8. So deep, the feelings in this. Almost tangible on the page, so plain to see and still so raw. Love never dies, does it? Even if that love isn’t good for us, it still exists every bit as deep and real as it was in the beginning.
    Fabulous writing Brenda. Deep and powerful.

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    • Thank you for your comments, I agree, and knew when it ended that it would always be alive, but forever gone. Interesting, the paths our lives follow. Love exists in many places, and if it’s real, it will always exist.

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  9. The passion and sadness are tangible. I completely forgot I was reading a wordle poem, Brenda. And this line: “Before you thatched your soul’s hearth with psychobabble and removed me from the fray.” I keep rereading it.

    margo

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  10. So passionate, Brenda. I really like the last stanza and:

    before you thatched
    your soul’s hearth with psychobabble
    and removed me from the fray.

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  11. When ideas clashed…

    You fleshed out the story well, Brenda, and I’m swept up with the whole feeling of losing someone who no longer hold the same beliefs. Also reminded of the poem which inspired this week’s wordle, and whose quote is a powerful reminder:
    Just be yourself.
    You don’t need
    to become anything else.
    ~Thich Nhat Hanh

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  12. “Before you thatched your soul’s hearth with psychobabble and removed me from the fray.” What a spectacular line and use of thatched and hearth! I am inspired and energized by this exceptional poem, Brenda!

    I thought this wordle would prove too difficult and then all of a sudden, the words came together for me.

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    • Thank you for your complimentary words, Marianne. This person will live with me forever, yet parting was all that we had left to do.

      Thank you also for the blue jays in your poem. They brightened my imagination. 🙂

      Like

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