Scars that you can’t see
get their ache all up in me
reverberating memory
of he who claims to be
a prophet.
His tools of madness
climb my sin.
Up and in.
Unholy visions
smoke and wine
hills too steep for
light to shine.
Everything we don’t do now
we’re going to do later,
he laughs.
I hide fire
close beneath my naked
-ness.
Scars that you can’t see
get their ache all up in me
reverberating memory
of he who claims to be
a prophet.
Brenda Warren 2016
The form is perfection, and the lines gripping. Well written piece.
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Yes, there is sadness, and yet I think she will soon be free of the false prophet….
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The repetition of the verse somehow empowers her (for me at least) – he may laugh but i think she knows he is no prophet.. in time i hope i hope she climbs the hill and topples him down
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This is sad piece about a failed relationship that so many of us have gone through. Essentially I see it as a betrayal and of lost opportunity…but I do tend to read too much into other writers words!
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“Everything we don’t do now, we’re going to do later,”
If you think, for one moment, that I will do folk dancing, you are wrong, wrong, wrong.
Apart from that: right.
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I wish there was a “love” button ❤ Oh. My. I LOVE this one. I must have read these lines at least ten times: "Scars that you can’t see
get their ache all up in me"—brilliant and profoundly meaningful word wizardry, Brenda!!
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Thank you, C.C. I’m so glad you liked this one.
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I agree with Viv, the repetition works well here. It also reminds me of certain current politicians who have come perhaps, to believe their own hype,
Elizabeth
https://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/2016/04/24/as-nightingales-sing/
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The symmetry of the”bookend” form is very effective.
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