Listen, snow is falling
like drunken poetry from the sky,
zigzagging flakes, this way and that,
diminishing the colors of my city into white.
Listen, snow is falling,
freed from a palace of clouds.
Calling geese bend its silence
as my shovel breaks through.
Listen, snow is falling,
dropping diamonds on my gloves.
Each shoveled burden steps with a wish,
billowing the walkways free.
Listen, snow is falling,
filling ditches deep with wishes.
Murmuring virtue, it swoons as it swirls,
leaving room for us to listen.
Brenda Warren 2012
Process Notes:
“Listen the Snow is Falling” is a song on John Lennon and Yoko Ono’s Wedding Album. Thea Gilmore does a beautiful cover of it. My city is covered right now. Snow is beautiful. It slows things down.
I wrote this so each stanza could stand on its own. The first line (from Yoko’s line) and the shovel thread commonality through the piece.
Visit The Sunday Whirl.
Just beautiful, Brenda. I can hear the hush.
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Your expression turns the volume up on the sound of the snowfall. Nicely descriptive and serene. Looking at green grass after winter’s escape (but I understand we’re in for a snow symphony in the next couple days!) Always a pleasure to read you, Boss!
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What a beautiful poem – it has been nearly 20 years since I last lived in snow country, but your words take me right back to it. They capture that incredible stillness, somehow. I too love the repetition – it works very well.
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Here’s a big old blanket response for all of you:
Thank you for reading my work and stopping to comment. I appreciate your visits, and your words.
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Brenda, the repeated, “Listen, snow is falling,” gave this a sort of texture. I can’t explain how it made me feel except to say that, suddenly, I am anticipating our next snowfall. Really, it IS like poetry falling from the sky… and I need to view it that way! Peace, and thanks for another Wordle! Amy
http://sharplittlepencil.com/2013/01/14/the-royal-pain/
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Excellent piece . Interesting how drunk goes so well with poetry
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Beautiful write, Brenda The repetition works wonderfully here. Now, I want some snow 🙂
Pamela
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I am snowbound also and loving it and love your poem as well – the images are inspired and enchanting … drunken poetry, a palace of clouds, geese bending silence, ditches deep with wishes …such a rich, marvellous piece of work…
http://thepoet-tree-house.blogspot.ca/2013/01/line-breaks.html
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you write snow with elegance and grace. You keep “billowing those walkways free”. It has to be better than when you were all stuck inside with the flu.
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Snow as drunken poetry from the sky, wow. Each stanza is beautiful. You write of snow beautifully.
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Wonderful. I particularly loved “falling like drunken poetry from the sky” which is such a visual phrase.
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I realized that I was reading this in a hushed, breathless whisper…each stanza strong on its own or as a painting of winter serenity/shoveling:). So many phrases I love…diminishing the colors of my city into white…freed from a palace of clouds…dropping diamonds on my gloves…Murmuring virtue…
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This is gorgeous, Brenda. This line, in particular, calls to me:
“Each shoveled burden steps with a wish,
billowing the walkways free.”
Just beautiful.
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Brenda, this is lovely. I like the way you use diminishing – you cast it in a whole new light, completely positive and beautiful. Each and every stanza is delightful – and they do stand on their own. But together – more than the sum of their parts.
Richard
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Very considerate snow you have there 🙂
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The repetition, the onomatopoeia, the poet’s craft – all made this poem a joy to read.
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Beautiful Brenda. Love the refrain and the imagery is delicious. You have reawakened something in me with this one. Thank you,
Elizabeth
http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/2013/01/13/once-again/
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I’ll repeat everyone here and say I love the repetition, too. your poem is very much snow — mesmerizing and, if you listen…
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the repetition works well with the imagery of snow falling, changing things. Artful use of the words, Brenda. I really, really like this one!!
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…like drunken poetry from the sky… just beautiful. All the shoved paths cryptically writing their own secret passages in the neighborhood. Cool.
Thanks for your visit, your word lists, your support.
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So much about nature fascinates me and calls to be written about. Snow, because of its ability to transform to something magical, is one that particularly tugs. I like your idea for structuring it.
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You are captured perfectly my feeling about snow! How wonderful, what a transformation, beautiful as diamonds reflecting the glisten of sunlight.
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Wonderful poem – love the Lenon line.. the repetition works terrifically and yes, you’ve accomplished what you set out to do in the process notes, each stanza can stand alone – but oh what a loss any would be!
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