As the day grows long,
We survey our landscape of silence,
Slipping into it whilst shadows slide across earth.

Dark sloping hills hold deep secrets
That litter valley floors with lilting white lies
Like so many kicked through scattered leaves.

Dust from crumbled pedestals settles behind us
Shrouding gray our glimmering newness
And settling our souls with its soft sighs.

Against the deep smell of fecund earth
We relinquish to gravity’s force
And grind holes deep within the mess of us.

Night tangles our limbs
Like a nest of earthworms writhing,
To investigate their space in forever.

Brenda Warren 2012

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23 thoughts on “Triversen

  1. Brenda, I like the “lilting white lies” – well, just the whole poem, how you blend internal, human traits with images from nature.

    And thank you, for introducing me to this form.



    • Thank you, Richard. I’m glad you like the form. Head over to dVerse again this Thursday… It’s one of the prompts I’ll try to do with some regularity this summer, because I like to learn new forms. The Triversen works for me. I’m going to head to your blog now. 😉


  2. This has a sense of both sorrow and loss as well as a strange sense of acceptance. Is this fate working its way into the narrator’s days, perhaps producing acquiescence or is there a sense of awareness that being grounded, so to speak, is what it means to be alive. Excellent crafting of the scene to the form.


  3. “We relinquish to gravity’s force”
    I look forward to this everyday despite what I might find when I let go of control.
    We are the earth under the ruins and the view. We are the worms.


  4. So vivid, peaceful. I especially like:

    Dark sloping hills hold deep secrets
    That litter valley floors with lilting white lies
    Like so many kicked through scattered leaves.


    • PS – I am someone who really stumbles over gaps in punctuation. I’mve very literal and plodding so take what I say with a grain of salt, but I would consider putting in a hyphen between the kicked and through , the kicked-through leaves. This was something I stumbled over. k.


  5. gringing holes deep withint the mess of us…great line…and love the bit on the pedestals as well as it makes some very subtle allusions…this is a really tight write and it winds together so very well…nicely crafted…


  6. Beautiful words strung together beautifully. You took me through several emotions and moods with the progress of the poem. The first two stanzas were, a magical summation of what I see when I look out of my living room windows each evening.


  7. I hesitate to call this “pretty”. It’s not thought a compliment in poetry – so I won’t; but I will say that the accumulated images throughout are pleasing in their shadowy and slightly ominous way. It is the spin of time, the honesty of age that you capture here with deft assurance and while I feel it everyday, more and more, this proclamation of life’s sure way brings me a soft peace.

    The Triversen form works well as the words speak to one another: landscape/silence/slide against earth and fecund earth/gravity’s force/ deep within and in the last tercet limbs/worms writhing, investigate space – such subtle assimilation. I really love this. Very well written!


    • Coming from you these comments mean a lot, Gay. I was so taken by your prompt. I read it several times, then read and reread Stevens’ poem before starting my own. Thank you.


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