for len
circle my lost spirit
church me up with concrete
make me stable
make me strong
I remember how it felt
to be cobbled by passion
crumbling pieces
a myriad of me
dissipate and wait
for a sign
for a passage to adventure
anything but now
circling my lost soul spirit
floundering alone
church me up with concrete
make me stable
make me strong
take me out for hot dogs and holy wafers
let the preacher’s words tell you everything that I can’t say
fearful of my non-reflected face
I cringe beneath dismissal
and hope you know
I love you
in the middle of this shit
you’re the mustard to my hotdog
the banana to my split
Brenda Warren 2011
~~~~~~~~~~
Process Notes:
Hoping for a positive piece with the whirl words, I wound up here. Len and I exchanged heated words earlier in the week, and then a conflicted work schedule kept us away from one another. The angst of words left hanging drove this piece. I’m certain the last two lines are not original, but then is anything, really?
Visit The Sunday Whirl, for some great reads using the twelve words that shaped my piece this week.
I’m enjoying your blog and have nominated you for the Liebster Award –
http://victoriajodean.com/2014/04/08/liebster-award/
LikeLike
I recently came across the sunday whirl, what fun! I really enjoyed your poem banana split.
LikeLike
Thanks, Paula. Join in the fun any time, we’d love to have you.
LikeLike
Brenda, I love “church me up with concrete”. (I was thinking of using church as a verb myself, but didn’t. I’m glad you did.) I like how it’s high and low, like real life, “hot dogs and holy wafers”. It has immediacy and honesty, and yet it’s elevated. You did beautifully with those wordle words. I’m sure he knows that you love him; “I love you” had to be its own line.
And thanks for your contribution to The Office of Letters and Light. I much appreciate it.
Richard
LikeLike
Thank you for your comments, Richard. As for the contribution, it sounds like a blast! I look forward to hearing more about it when the event transpires.
LikeLike
Late to the commenting party a bit, but: there are some awesome turns of phrase in here. Well sculpted!
LikeLike
Absolutely loved the “church me up with concrete”. Fabulous use of the wordle words. And glad you came back and repeated it, it needed to that emphasis. You do wonderfully well with these word puzzles. It takes courage to be this honest, but that is a sign of a very good poet. Brava Brenda,
Elizabeth
http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/
LikeLike
Thank you so much, Elizabeth. I’ve come to cherish your comments on my work. You usually “get” me, and are always so kind. My writing doesn’t take courage, it gives me perspective, and a good place for remembering. Sharing it takes some courage, but this community provides rich validation. I’m glad we are passing through the online blogging world at the same time.
Brenda
LikeLike
A lovely poem Brenda.
I especially liked the last three lines:
‘in the middle of this shit
you’re the mustard to my hotdog
the banana to my split’
Now that’s what I call true love!
LikeLike
LoL, Thanks Mike. Your comment really did give me a chuckle. 🙂
LikeLike
I love your writing, this and other poems I’ve just discovered. It’s immediate, raw, full of motion. Honest. Thank you! 😉
tara
LikeLike
Welcome to undercaws. 🙂
I’m glad you liked it, Tara. Thank you for stopping to read and leave your thoughts.
LikeLike
Many can write from the heart, but when a poet does—wow! “Anything but now / circling my lost soul spirit / floundering alone.” And you did it with a wordle. I stand in awe.
LikeLike
Thank you, Mike. Your comment makes me feel good. I stayed away for a couple days to let this piece sit. Life is lighter now, but this piece can pull me back to that feeling…it is a strong write for me.
LikeLike
Love the fourth stanza, Brenda. Sorry for your problems, but we all have words with the ones we love at times, don’t we? Nicely wordled.
Pamela
LikeLike
Thank you, Pamela. Things are good. . . writing always makes me feel better, and Len and I are lifers…we’ll always find that even track again.
LikeLike
Wow, what an excellent piece of writing!
“circle my lost spirit
church me up with concrete
make me stable
make me strong
I remember how it felt
to be cobbled by passion”
and…
“take me out for hot dogs and holy wafers”
Passionate and beautiful…and real.
What a way to use the wordle words! I loved it. 🙂
LikeLike
Thank you, Susannah! Your words make me feel good. I like the hot dogs and holy wafers, too, but I’m not sure what it means—the sustenance of love, I suppose. mmmm mmm!
LikeLike
Full of raw honesty, Brenda, and we all need to be “cobbled by passion”.
LikeLike
Thank you, Irene, I agree.
LikeLike
A truly wonderful poem, Brenda! I like the way you revealed your feelings. I am quite stymied by the words this week. Nothing is clicking in my head …
LikeLike
Ah, you’ll get there, if you haven’t already. I’m off to check, now. Thanks for your comments, I always appreciate your visits.
LikeLike
love the last 4 lines, you rocked on it.
delicious entry.
LikeLike
Thank you, I appreciate your comments, and your participation in the whirl. 🙂
LikeLike
Brenda- I really like–
“church me up with concrete
make me stable
make me strong”
LikeLike
Thank you Laurie.
LikeLike
The best part is, you make up. The worst things are the long, angry silences. Left too long they can so often kill the love, or, leave it with gaping wounds. Glad you made up. Yes, the making up takes a lot of energy too but, in saving love, there is no limit eh!
A lovely wordle Brenda!
LikeLike
Yup, making up is the best. We do it well……. and so far have none of those gaping wounds.
LikeLike
A good fight sometimes releases all the steam to settle back to a cool phase, as long as there are words like ‘I love you’ splattered in between!! They make the patch up work bright!! 🙂 A lovely mix of emotions in the high energy outpouring!!
LikeLike
Thank you Nanka. The patch up work can be high energy, too. 😉
LikeLike
Oh, I love this, Brenda. It expressed a difficult time very well. I enjoyed “Church me up with concrete” as a wonderfuol metaphor. And ‘hot dogs and holy wafers’ – wow! You did well with the words…and I hope the ‘heated words’ have cooled by now! A banana split shared might be in order!
LikeLike
LoL We took a trip to WalMart last night for ice cream. Wilcoxon’s Moose Tracks. It’s a Montana thing. We always called it Moose Poop when the kids were little. It’s vanilla filled with chocolate covered peanut butter pellets, Thank you, for your kind words, Mary.
LikeLike
It has an opposite effect for some. You come back all refreshed and wanting to make amends and that can be very contagious in a positive way.
Hank
LikeLike
Thanks Hank. I understand the opposite effect, too. With Len, we know we come to center again, it eases the rough spots. For me it’s when something is ending that those holes gape and eat at a soul. For me, gentle humor nudges life smooth.
LikeLike
I’m sorry you’ve been having words. It happens even in the most loving of households. I love the ending to this – a good resolution. “You’re the tops” – is that the song you were thinking about?
LikeLike
Thanks Viv. We are on track again. I know Cole Porter’s tune, but I specifically remember stumbling on a poem, that explored metaphors of love. It was filled with phrases like “you’re the bottom to my top.” It went OVER the top. LoL I can’t remember where I saw it, but it lifted itself into the end of this piece.
LikeLike