(What if intense sadness covers everything that’s left?)
Tentacles gravel through an amalgam of trash.
Tentative filtering, fingering, floundering.
Finding nothing, empty mouths open.
Vacant notices plaster poles with pleas,
Vacuous and never – )ending
Plastering bullshit until it stings eyes.
Dung bricks begin to fall from heavy tongues,
dis- (balance) -rupting.
No one notices a fence until after it is fashioned.
Brenda Warren 2013
I, too, thought of Robert Frost. Intense poem filled with outstanding imagery, and a killer ending.
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To read this is like playing with pingpong balls! Very good
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Great closing line.
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Maybe we should pay more attention to some of the notices posted on poles. They might warn us of the fences. Or maybe, just keep our eyes open to what’s going on around us more!
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Powerful social commentary combined with a clever take on the words. My favorite lines are:
Tentacles gravel through an amalgam of trash.
Tentative filtering, fingering, floundering.
The use of “gravel” as a verb was, for me, a revelation. Loved this, and thanks for the Wordle, Brenda! Amy
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You’ve created an intense mood with these words, Brenda. Great use of alliteration as well. The words brought a flash fiction piece to me.
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Wow the words felt like marbles in the mouth. A great way to write about building a fence. Sort of a counter poem to Frost’s “Mending Wall”. At least my mind went that way.
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The words seemed to cry out for gutsy invective. You certainly have accomplished this well.
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Well, Brenda, this is fabulous. I love your use of alliteration, very well done. I didn’t finish my poem, lack of time, lack of energy, you name it, I have had a lack of it. 🙂
Pamela
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You are right. Bullshit doesn’t half sting the eyes.
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These are not a cheerful bunch of words, but you handled them very well and I too love the last line! Terrific poem!
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Yes, very powerful images in this one. The picture of tentacles graveling caught me.
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That last line is powerful… Very well-written.
-HA
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Nicely done Brenda…I found these words crying out for alliterative cousins for some reason and gave them many; you have made sense with both alliteration and content, and your last line is brilliant.
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whoa. you nailed this century.
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Well, we were thinking a little alike today. I had an amalgam of trash in mine, too. “Plastering bullshit until it stings eyes” is brilliant!
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Not a cheerful bunch of words – they seem to bring out the nasty side of life!
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I couldn’t do this one at all, so I am doubly admiring your skill with the words.
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Woah! Terrific poem. I love the way the poem ends — great line.
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yes fences seem to fall down thick and fast..concrete ones..not malleable wooden ones..can fully understand the high proportion of bullshit too..
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