A taste of regret lingered
in the doorway where she stood
breathing in the barn’s fecundity.
Outside, swallows darted and dove,
swimming through sporadic wind currents
between two towering grain elevators.
A blur of self-doubt
fluttered in her chest, then
she pictured her heart rusty,
dulled like the hinges on the old barn door,
their original sheen eroded
over time’s long passage.
As sure as swallows ride the wind,
her heart would die there
nailed to the old barn door.
She breathed in one long last feel for the place,
then left without saying good-bye.
Brenda Warren 2013
Shout out to the folks at the Trifecta Challenge and Poetic Bloomings for the prompts! Visit their sites to take a look at the prompts, and access links to other writer’s responses. Support writers: read!
Loved the swallows in this – the images and the language.
LikeLike
This is painful, but beautiful. It takes great strength to leave someplace that has captured your heart, even when you suspect you may never heal.
LikeLike
Thanks for stopping to read, and yes, my heart still aches for that space of land.
LikeLike
Wow, loved the rhythm of this. Certain lines also really stuck out to be – “breathing in the barn’s fecundity,” and the comparison of her heart to the rusty hinge. Nicely done!
LikeLike
Thank you Brian.
LikeLike
I love that she didn’t say goodbye-it’s like a glimmer of hope, even if it’s false hope. This piece was achingly beautiful.
LikeLike
Thanks, Valerie. It aches for me when I read it, too.
LikeLike
Its hard to leave a place that you know your heart never will. Very good.
LikeLike
Thanks for stopping to read and sharing your thoughts. Leaving is always hard, but often necessary. This piece dredged up an old experience for me. The writing process was interesting, and I am certainly where I need/want to be now.
LikeLike
rusty heart, my favorite use of the word this week. i felt the melancholy of this piece, wholly.
LikeLike
Thanks Renada…melancholy…yup, I get that, too.
LikeLike
Breathing in the barn’s fecundity – l love that. Lovely piece, very moving.
LikeLike
Thanks, Steph, that’s one of my favorite lines, too.
LikeLike
Leaving a loved place can be as difficult as leaving a person…sometimes moreso. Beautifully written.
LikeLike
So true, Maggie. Thanks for stopping to read. It’s been fun getting to know you better this past month or so. I love that writing creates common ground.
LikeLike
‘she pictured her heart rusty’ — perfect image with the barn – already red but maybe the paint peeling. lovely to read this fine morning.
LikeLike
Sometimes it is easiest to leave without saying good-bye.
LikeLike
sad to say goodbye – leaving one’s heart nailed to the door – nice touch.
LikeLike
Really great writing!
LikeLike
Thanks so much.
LikeLike
Very poignant piece! Sometimes it is indeed hard to wrench oneself from an old place and move on.
LikeLike