Willow drinks Corona with lime,
she drinks her Corona with lime.
Every night at the Cock Tail Club,
she brushes her hair in her eyes
and trembles in the shadows—
picturing sticks,
picturing stones,
picturing Braden
breaking all her bones.
Picturing that liar
breaking all her bones.
Willow drinks Corona with lime
it helps her crawl through time.
She drinks it at the Cock Tail Club
in the booth in the back after nine.
He told her that he’d love her right,
a bluff of fetid mud.
Love does not spit thunder.
Love does not spit nails.
Love does not stain faces dark,
while bashing in their bones.
Willow drinks Corona with lime
with her hair hanging over her face.
She drinks it at the Cock Tail Club,
each bottle a vessel of grace.
Beer bestows a brief forgetting
of the dance of Braden’s fear
that trampled and aged his boyish face
when she pulled out a gun, before: Crack!
He fell to the ground with a thud.
Willow bashed him with a baseball bat
then danced on his broken bones.
Oh yeah, she danced on his broken bones.
Willow drinks Corona with lime
she drinks her Corona with lime.
Each bottle is a vessel of grace
that helps her annihilate time.
Brenda Warren 2012
Visit The Sunday Whirl.
I’m sure it was the lime that caused the angst. I could be wrong. Again. An absolutely stellar piece!
LikeLike
Left me a bit frightened…I always believe that if emotions are immediately evoked, the poetry is very very well-done
LikeLike
I’m new to this group, and new to poetry. Your Sunday Whirl makes my mind whirl – will I ever be able to write poetry the way you do? Hopefully….someday…..:-)
LikeLike
Oh, Behave! A rather macabre little dance though the word list, isn’t it? Intriguing! Way to go, Boss!
LikeLike
Brenda, I love “a bluff of fetid mud” and well… that whole stanza. No, love does not do those things. I want to know where she buried Braden’s broken bones.
Richard
LikeLike
My first thought was -Wow, that Willow has spunk! But then I wondered, did she actually do it, or did she just wish she did it?
LikeLike
I’m definitely in agreement with the others…Braden got what he deserved. Love the twisted darkness you let shine through in this poem.
LikeLike
Poor Willow – I think she needs her Corona!
Anna :o]
LikeLike
Very strong Brenda. I feel tremendous empathy for Willow reading how you wrote her character in this ballad. I hope she gets away with it and gets on with her life.
LikeLike
I know, I replied, but, wanted to add, this is definitely a ballad, refrains and all. Well done. You are a master.
LikeLike
I thought this like a movie set of my life. Is it the name, Willow? Not really, but it feels like a take off on my last wordl. It was violent. Tonight’s wordl is violent too. I guess I’ve been a bit aggressive lately.
LikeLike
What a sad state of affairs…so well-captured in your words.
LikeLike
Very nice – well done and well-deserved end for Braden … of course it’s not going to be all peaches and cream for Willow but at least she won’t be looking over her shoulder for that asshole the rest of her life … omigod Sharon, it’s a poem! Right. I loved it.
http://aleapingelephant.blogspot.ca/2012/06/black-webbed-claw.html
LikeLike
While it looks like Willow was justified, I think the shock of killing someone would be something quite hard to live with. A well wordled story. Thanks for your visit and kind words.
LikeLike
Ouch! Love the rhythm in this Brenda. Willow is a tough girl. I am with Mary, a corona with lime sounds perfect about now, it is so blasted hot!
Pamela
LikeLike
Yes, very dark and I like the repetition. I always enjoy the wordles. The 48 hour thing is fine with me as I usually try to post on Sunday. Though perhaps 72 would be better for the late ones.
LikeLike
well now….seems he got what he deserved, even though she is still struggling with it. Quite the tale.
LikeLike
After the first stanza, I started thinking, hearing “country”, something by Marty Robbins or K.T. Oslen. From what you’ve said, I wasn’t too far off. Have you ever written music? The repetition and the cadence are certainly there, along with the drinking, violence, and surprise ending. Really like this one Brenda, it’s dark but it also is sort of fun. Could see you grinning.
Elizabeth
http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/
LikeLike
The first words out of my mouth were , just as WimsyGizmo said… “oh my word!” The sing song repetition gives us enough distance from the reality of Willow’s life. I am surprised all she needs is a Corona with a lime. Great write Brenda!
LikeLike
Thanks Teri. It’s interesting to try to approach dark subjects through a sing song lens. I’m glad you like it.
LikeLike
Oh, my word. This stuns, Brenda.
“picturing sticks,
picturing stones,
picturing Braden
breaking all her bones.
Picturing that liar
breaking all her bones.”
Fantastic. And then it unravels gorgeously. Oh, Willow.
LikeLike
Yeah, I know…poor Willow. Thanks for the comments, De.
LikeLike
Oh, wow, Brenda… amazing piece. The repitition is so effective in building up the suspense and then the ending just dropped my jaw.
LikeLike
Thank you, Laurie.
LikeLike
Strong write, Brenda. The repetition evokes her memories returning and repeated beatings…very powerfully done. Poor Willow – this was painful just to read. You really created a vivid, flash-back within the character’s (and reader’s) head — and the need for a light, refreshing brew with lime.
LikeLike
Thank you, Nan. Cheers!
LikeLike
Dark poem, but fantastic, Brenda. The repetition is very effective, and having been around a few people after they’ve downed several Coronas, I know it’s true to their behavior. They tend to get repetitive. 😉
LikeLike
Thanks, Traci. I appreciate your comments, and know some of those long winded types. Alcohol does accentuate it.
LikeLike
Oooo… This is fiendishly dark and …somehow deliciously funny. She is a lush and he is an abuser. I’m glad he got his just deserts… Ouch though! LOL
The imagery in this is so powerful !
LikeLike
Thanks, Bren. It makes me chuckle a bit, too. Weird, eh? Maybe it’s the singsong cadence that pops up now and then. A nursery rhyme with a twist. LoL
LikeLike
Oooh I like the macabre humor here – Well done! 🙂
LikeLike
Thank you, Pearl!
LikeLike
A grim tale, forsooth! Bonnie and Clyde-ish. I’m glad it was the false lover’s bones that were broken… I wish I hadn’t said that!
Corona in UK is/was a soft drink brand, but I guess where you are it is alcoholic.
LikeLike
It’s a beer made in Mexico and very popular in the U.S. In the ads on TV, there’s always a lime wedge in the top of the bottle.
LikeLike
Yup….many people drink Corona with lime…not me, I prefer the stoutness of Guinness, and really prefer a dry red wine. 🙂
LikeLike
When I drink, it’s either sangria, a light wine (something sweet and not too dry), or a mixed drink involving rum. My favorite use for beer is as a baking ingredient or a meat marinade. 🙂
LikeLike
Wow! Powerful piece and masterful use of the wordle words. I love the repetition, and the form, not sure what you call it? Favorite lines: “a bluff of fetid mud.” and “each bottle a vessel of grace.”
LikeLike
Thank you, Marianne. It’s not written to a form, not really. I tried to write it so that it could be sung…and the stanzas loosely follow a similar pattern. The two lines you selected are among my favorite. I was stuck with “vessel,” and then loved the way it came to play. 🙂
LikeLike
In-f**king-credible! Masterful!
I don’t mind the 2-day cutoff for the linky.
LikeLike
Thanks Cheryl.
LikeLike
Corona with lime sounds very good to me right now. I will join Willow.
LikeLike
It sounds like she might need the company, Mary. 😉
LikeLike