chastised and alone
swallowed in self-retreat
slipping through chasms
mocked and cast out
the laughter of saints
fills you with false light
punctuating voices
that poke holes in your consciousness
telling you about auto body shops
telling you about speed
telling you about money
telling you about jeeps that bounce
lives out of whack
derailed trains mangle
the wreckage
that bleeds through metal bars
surrounding your heart
trying to pry open
the smooth cold rods that
diminish your compassion
pedestals hewn from mesmerizing newness
slide into the muck of ever after
belching rainbow brown bubbles
with a salty sweet stench
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Process Notes:
This piece began as an exploration of schizophrenia. Several years ago, I had a student who heard voices. There’s a story there, but I’ll save that for another time after more years have passed. It began as an exploration of what it might be like to hear voices, and be disconnected from reality. It turned into more than that somehow. While it is dark, I like it.
undercaws 
i was thinking depression as well…intriguing write brenda – would be interesting to hear that story sometime..
LikeLike
That story will play out some time, it’s in me. They seem to come when they come, he’s starting to show up, as I have some interesting students this year who keep bringing him to the surface. No voices this year, as far as I know. 🙂
LikeLike
Brenda, suffice to say, I believe you have captured the essence of f schizophrenia. I knew upon first reading what you were talking about in this. Potent piece here.
Pamela
LikeLike
Thank you Pamela, I’m glad you caught it. I thought bringing in saints might illuminate the idea of schizophrenia. Your comment makes me feel like I hit my prompt.
LikeLike
Oh, this is eerie, Brenda. It must be difficult to live with such thoughts swirling in one’s mind. Your poem DOES seem to give a good picture of what schizophrenia might be like.
LikeLike
Thanks, Mary. I tried to get there..it’s started from a student and was likely fed from a few different television characters cobbled together.
LikeLike
Dark it is, frighteningly so, which I suppose is the point. I was thinking depression as I read, so when I read your notes, I had to go back and read it again. Your imagery is potent.
LikeLike
Thanks Viv. I can see depression in it, too.
LikeLike