Potential rattles against a holy
fortress stagnant in its sameness.
A substrata of fear
jangles nay saying
voices in your head,
blurring visions of tomorrows,
while potential’s rattle
snakes and shakes
until its sprouts pierce
the illusionary surface of existence
splintering color throughout your world
enticing voices to quietly vanish
into the gloaming of everything that came before.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This piece came from a wordle at The Sunday Whirl. This week’s wordle was built from three Wallace Stevens poems.
Brenda, you did a fine job with the words. I am having some difficulty with mine, and trying not to sound preachy. Maybe it’s the word “holy” 🙂
Pamela
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Beautifully scripted and the wordle words so brilliantly used!! Very different and smartly done!!
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“Potential’s rattle shakes and snakes…” Wow, loved this. Not only did you come up with a great Wordle, your own poem from it resonates, especially the final line. Beauty of a poem, dear.
Amy (and here’s a funny one for you)
http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/08/02/outstanding-what-sun-scribblings/
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I had to look up ‘gloaming,’ a word I’m surprised I didn’t know. Perfectly used–as are the wordle words. This was a wonderful wordle to play with. Outstanding poems from everyone.
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This is really good!!!!
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Just wonderful!
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Very deep, excellent use of the wordle words. I really loved this one!
The words themselves seemed to say write this about them! …LOL Love it when that happens!
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“A substrata of fear
jangles nay saying
voices in your head,
blurring visions of tomorrows,”
So well described! I love ‘substrata of fear’. I enjoyed this very much!
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Some lovely phrasing here, Brenda.
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I enjoyed your whole venture into the surreal. Those were some of the most interesting wordle words you have given us to date.
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Brenda, the last line finishes off beautifully, into this piece about the world of the invisible.
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Well done, Brenda! I love “splintering color throughout your world” and
“enticing voices to quietly vanish into the gloaming of everything that came before.” Gloaming is such a wonderfully descriptive word.
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I like the fact that you describe an inner fortress being attacked, yet splintering colors are the outcome. Many of us seemed to have found similar paths with these words. Thank you again for supplying this space for all of us to challenge our creativity.
Elizabeth
http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/
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I like where you took this Brenda! I too like the twist provided by the title.
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Excellent wordle, Brenda, filled with interesting words…. My favorite lines are:
A substrata of fear
jangles nay saying
voices in your head,
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Brenda- I enjoyed this… especially:
while potential’s rattle
snakes and shakes
until its sprouts pierce
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This is really cool. I love the title!
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Thanks Mama Zen. You should join the wordle party with us!
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