Pantoum for Lingering Guests

Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days
They arrive in a whirlwind bearing whiskey and grins
Drinking and promoting an intoxicated haze
Their booze-embellished stories spin a convoluted spin

They arrive in a whirlwind bearing whiskey and grins
Two nights up past midnight setting words ablaze
Their booze-embellished stories spin a convoluted spin
Fabricated stories of our lives rephrased

Two nights up past midnight setting words ablaze
Redundancy, indolence and attempts to chagrin
Fabricated stories of our lives rephrased
Their stay begins to wear swimmingly thin

Redundancy, indolence, and attempts to chagrin
Drinking and sustaining an intoxicated haze
Their stay begins to wear swimmingly thin.
Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.

Brenda Warren 2012

This piece is written for Trifecta’s Trifextra Challenge: Week Twenty-Four. Check it out for a community of writes on the same topic:

This weekend’s prompt is borrowed from Benjamin Franklin, who once said, “Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.” We want you to tell us a story about a guest, invited or otherwise, who begins to smell, metaphorically or otherwise, after three days.

The guests in my piece come and they drink too much, repeating embellished stories that bring them too much delight, due no doubt to alcohol consumption. I used the pantoum form for its repetition, as it suits the topic well.

6 thoughts on “Pantoum for Lingering Guests

  1. This is very well written, Brenda. I started a piece on this prompt for Trifecta but it’s still staring at me on my desktop. It hit a spot where I thought HUH?, and then I quit. Such are the hiccups of a writer but you whipped yours into lively shape without problem. Well done!

  2. Well done, Brenda. A splendid pantoum that says everything it should. Our procession of summer visitors starts next week, and if it continues to rain like this what on earth am | going to do with them all day?

    • You are lucky to have the rain, Viv. We had two days of it this weekend, but oh, it’s dry here. Thanks for your comments. I’ve been toying with pantoums and villanelles, and do appreciate the feedback.

  3. Thanks so much for linking up with Trifecta this weekend. Please remember to come back and vote for your top three posts!

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